Overheard: What do you call that again?

Older fellow with glasses: I see that book in your taliis bag, called "Forgiveness". What is it about?

New Age Guy: It is about how you have to forgive all those people who hurt you?

Congregant: Why would you do it, if they dont ask?

New Age Guy: No, you forgive them for yourself, so you can be free. Not forgiving traps you in negativity.

Glasses: Really?

New Age Guy: Yes. It holds you back, it gives them continued power over you. When you let go, you can move forward.

Glasses: Can't you move forward without them. You can forget them, for example. Forgiving someone because you want to detach from them is kind of selfish  and not sincere- no?

New Age Guy: Forgiving is always noble. It's theatrical, a grand jesture of liberation. It's a better thing to do.

Glasses: And trusting that G-d is always just is a very private step. I get it. In my book, they have to ask. for fogiveness. They can't hold you back, if you understand that it is all from Hashem and they are just His messengers. Then we are honest, I am not using them for my ends and they gain true forgiveness - through understanding.

New Age Guy, unsure: But forgiving is better.

Glasses: Doesn't sound very Jewish, Sounds outright Christian. Forgiveness only comes if it is solicited.  I KNOW that I cannot forgive someone unless he apologizes, at the very least, and I better know he means it. I can say that I forgive him but that is just words and I don't really mean it. I am just being noble in my own mind and self involved. I enjoy shoving my superiority in their faces and I gain not repair but revenge.

New Age Guy: How would you know that he means the apology?  May he is just unburdening himself to not be trapped himself in negativity.

Glasses: If the apology is sincere. I know what is sincere; if it is complete, if he doesn't minimize the offense and does not blame others or the cicumstances. If he is willing to compensate - then I know it is not just words.

New Age Guy: What difference does it make what you call it.

 Glasses: What you call it shapes your perception of what it is. Truth is always beter than self delusion.

New Age Guy, insisting:  But if you don't forgive you will always remain trapped. It's for you, not for them.

Glasses: I seee what you mean. But, may be that is not called forgiveness, May be you you do it to move on but you need to call it something else, what it really is.

New Age Guy: What?

Glasses: Bitachon !

Comments

[Shmuel]

Interesting post...

I'm not sure if this is a response to the subject, title, and blurb of the Rabbi Twerski book, but I've been mulling over this back and forth for some time already. I saw a documentary a short while ago about a holocaust survivor who started this campaign of forgiveness...

I recall reading Simon Weisenthal's "The Sunflower" when I was on a new-Age kick, and found myself disagreeing strongly with many of the responses to the book; I thought Weisenthal's own reaction to be appropriate, albeit perhaps too passive. But then again, that could be as much due to the context as opposed to the concept...

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BS"D
Discussion with Moishe'la (with his family)
A Handicapped child
Tishrei 28 '5774 (Oct 1 '13)

We Cried and We Cried

I want to tell you that Zaidy came to me again from Olam Ha’emes. (My Zaidy, a great Tzaddik, was very famous when he was alive.) I want to tell you that he sat down next to me when I was sleeping, and said to me, "Yingel Yingel my Zeesa Yingel (my beloved boy) I am so proud of you. I am so happy that you are in the house that you are, in the home that you are, and I Bentch you that you should continue bringing truth to our family and truth to the Yidden wherever they might be."

And then he said, "I have more to tell you. I am very worried about my adopted homeland the United States of America. I am not worried about the place itself, as we all know its pure Edom. I have always realized how this Golus of Edom has almost destroyed all Yiddishkeit in America.

"But no I am not worried about the Edomite country called the United States. I am worried about the Yidden in United States. First of all they are in very big physical danger and of course we know very well that the Yidden in America, including the Frum, are in great spiritual and physical danger. Of course there are always exceptions to the rule, but the very big majority of the Yidden in America are in very big spiritual danger.
"Don't get me wrong. I am not saying that the Yidden all over the world are in a better condition, but I am worried especially about the Yidden in the United States of America.

"I really want them to do Teshuva, real Teshuva. And I know that I have said this many times, and people don't understand what I am talking about. Even when you explain it so clearly, most people just brush it off because it's much more interesting to be busy with the Gashmius than to be busy with the Ruchnius. It take less spiritual and emotional effort to rise high in the attainment of the Gashmius, than it takes to rise high in the attainment of the Ruchnius.

"Since I was very young I realized that the American Jewish community would eventually disappear. Now however I see clearly that the United States of America is disappearing right in front of our eyes. Soon there will be no United States of America, and the Yidden will have to find themselves a new home. I hope they decide on Eretz Yisroel, and hope they do it quickly, because if not well……. "

Then he asked me to sit down with him and say Tikkun Chatzos. Together we Davened and we cried, and we cried, and we cried. I closed my eyes so I could feel the Tza'ar HaShechina, (the pain of Hashem) and when I opened them my Zaidy was gone.

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