avakesh:

Older fellow with glasses: I see that book in your taliis bag, called "Forgiveness". What is it about?

New Age Guy: It is about how you have to forgive all those people who hurt you?

Congregant: Why would you do it, if they dont ask?

New Age Guy: No, you forgive them for yourself, so you can be free. Not forgiving traps you in negativity.

Glasses: Really?

New Age Guy: Yes. It holds you back, it gives them continued power over you. When you let go, you can move forward.

Glasses: Can't you move forward without them. You can forget them, for example. Forgiving someone because you want to detach from them is kind of selfish and not sincere- no?

New Age Guy: Forgiving is always noble. It's theatrical, a grand jesture of liberation. It's a better thing to do.

Glasses: And trusting that G-d is always just is a very private step. I get it. In my book, they have to ask. for fogiveness. They can't hold you back, if you understand that it is all from Hashem and they are just His messengers. Then we are honest, I am not using them for my ends and they gain true forgiveness - through understanding.

New Age Guy, unsure: But forgiving is better.

Glasses: Doesn't sound very Jewish, Sounds outright Christian. Forgiveness only comes if it is solicited. I KNOW that I cannot forgive someone unless he apologizes, at the very least, and I better know he means it. I can say that I forgive him but that is just words and I don't really mean it. I am just being noble in my own mind and self involved. I enjoy shoving my superiority in their faces and I gain not repair but revenge.

New Age Guy: How would you know that he means the apology? May he is just unburdening himself to not be trapped himself in negativity.

Glasses: If the apology is sincere. I know what is sincere; if it is complete, if he doesn't minimize the offense and does not blame others or the cicumstances. If he is willing to compensate - then I know it is not just words.

New Age Guy: What difference does it make what you call it.

Glasses: What you call it shapes your perception of what it is. Truth is always beter than self delusion.

New Age Guy, insisting: But if you don't forgive you will always remain trapped. It's for you, not for them.

Glasses: I seee what you mean. But, may be that is not called forgiveness, May be you you do it to move on but you need to call it something else, what it really is.

New Age Guy: What?

Glasses: Bitachon !

Being a student used to not be easy. Not only did one have to invest many years in sitting at the feet of a Sage, often from an early age, not only was one expected to sacrifice the concerns for the self and the diversions of everyday life to the complete preoccupation with toil in Torah - one was also pressed to serve the Rebbi.

R. Joshua b. Levi ruled: All manner of service that a slave must render to his master a student must render to his teacher, except that of taking off his shoe. Raba explained: This ruling applies only to a place where he is not known, but where he is known there can be no objection. R. Ashi said: Even where he is not known the ruling applies only where he does not put on tefillin but where he puts on tefillin, he may well perform such a service. R. Hiyya b. Abba stated in the name of R. Johanan. A man who deprives his student of [the privilege of] attending on him acts as if he had deprived him of [an act of] kindness, for it is said in Scripture, To him that deprives his friend of kindness. R. Nahman b. Isaac said: He also deprives him of the fear of heaven, for it is said in Scripture, And he forsaketh the fear of the Almighty. (Kesuvos 96a)

What does it mean to serve a Master? Is it solely a way to advance in Torah?

It says in the Braisa at the end Avo that Torah can be gained in 48 days. Among them is shimush(service of the wise):

התורה נקנית במ"ח דברים ואלו הן...בשמוש חכמים

Rashi says::

שדוחק ונכנס בכל מקום לשמוע דבריהן ולשמשן

The student must push to enter everyplace (that they teach) and serve them.

This passage elevates serving the Rabbis to the same level as learning from them. As one of the 48 ways to gain wisdom, Shimush Chachamim (serving the Sages) is on the same level as actual learning from them. That is the utility of this Service. There is also a mItzva it it.

In fact, as a Mitzva, serving is greater than learning. serving is greater than learning.RI of KURVEILLE (quoted in Tosfos, Kesuvos 17a, DH Mevatlin) says that even though one must be stop Torah study in order to perform the Mitzvah of burying the dead, "Shimush Talmidei Chachamim" overrides burying the dead (even a "Mes Mitzvah"). The service of the Torah is greater thanits study( Brochos 17b)!

There are many stories in the Talmud of Sages who required a student to perform some personal service before they would impart a teaching to him. Serving comes before learning.

Nowadays this aspect of training for Torah greatness has been lost. Rarely will you find a young man who dedicates himself to a specific great scholar, even to the extent of attending on his everyday needs. Those who do help elderly scholars, are on the contrary, among the weaker students, the "gabbai" of a Rosh Yeshiva or a "kloiz bochur" of a Hassidic Rebbe.

This situations results in students who superficially appear devoted to their teachers, but in truth, are only connected to them as long as the students derive some benefit from their devotion. They quote them and cite them, constantly referring to : "My Rebbe said this and my Rebbe said that", but when the Rebbe asks for even a small favor, such students dissappear. As soon as the Rebbe asks them to give something in return, they flee. This is how R. Yechiel Weinberg describes such students: "... there are students who are devoted to their teachers, who warm to their light and feel deep gratitude towards them. However, this feeling lasts only when it does not carry any practical obligation (see here, p.118)."

Why has such a situation arisen? It might have something to do with the demise of the institution of the apprenticeship. In a society where one does not invest years of learning and observation to learn a craft, the concept of a learning relationship dissappears. Mentorship replaces apprenticeship. The effort and responsibility in the mentoring relationship is on the mentor and not the mentee.

More importantly, it is because of the rarity of the authentic appreciation that one must give in order to receive.

Rebbe Rashab writes in the maaamar Mikne Rav and Ele Hadevorim (Reish Samekh Vov) that there are two kinds of servants: a servant that serves from Awe and Fear and one who serves from Love. In addition, there is a Son, who serves his Father by giving, because due to the great similarity that he sees to himsef in his father, he gives selflessly and without boundary.

"You should teach your sons"- these are the students (Sifrei to Deut. 6:7 and Rashi ibid).

We now understand the purpose and the nature and absolute necessity for Shimusha shel Torah! A student who gives to his Teacher establishes a true bilateral relationship. Not so one who only takes. Taking makes people uncomfortable, for it imposes a subtle obligation to reciprocate. People resent being in debt and under an obligation to another ( Rav Dessler, Kuntress Hachesed, Giving and Taking, Michtav M'Eliahu vol. 1). A student cannot have a full and open relationship with a Rebbe when the student resents the Rebbe. This concept underlies the chassidic concept of Hiskashrus. The chossid does something for the Rebbe; for example, in Lubavitch he goes on Shelichus, because it will please the latter. This connects them.

One cannot be a taker in Torah study. To take from the Rebbe, no matter how desirous he might be of imparting knowledge (more than the calf wants to suckle, the cow wants to nurse (Pesachim112a)), is not the way in which Torah will be imparted. First give, then take. WIth their great insight into human psyche, the sages taught is this message. A student must first and always give. Only giving will bind him to his teacher. Taking creates distance, giving produces a connection. A student must establish a connection, not a selfish connection based on his own need, but a selfless devotion based on giving. Only then will Torah effortlessly spill over from the teacher to the pupil and take up a position within his heart.

Return

WIth Hashem's help, I intend to return to a more regular schedule of posting. I apologize for the prolonged furlough and hope that you will find what I post to be useful, and above all, educational and uplifting.

WIth Hashem's help!