On the Three Weeks between the Fast of the 17 Tammuz and Tisha B'Av, there are various restrictions in daily life that have been sanctioned or become the custom in order to mourn the destruction of the Temple. During the Three weeks, we do not celebrate weddings, listen to music, cut hair etc. During the Nine days, we do not eat meat or drink Wine, wear freshly laundered clothes, bathe for recreation etc. During the week in which Tisha B'Av occurs, one does not cut fingernails, etc. On both the 17 Tammuz and 9 Menachem Av we fast according to the laws of Fast days but on the latter day there are additional actions mandated inlcuding ones that are reflective of personal law's of mourning such as sitting on low chairs and not putting on tefillin in the morning service. At midday, some of these restrictions are lifted transforming the day into a regular fast day. After Tisha B'av in the evening, some of the restrictions such as not drinking wine, eating meat, doing laundry continue until noon on the Tenth of Av.
In mourning (Aveilus) for a parent, the laws start at their strictest until the burial (anenus), then are still stringent during the first seven days aka Shiva, and become less at 30 days (Shloshim) and dissipate at 11/12 months, only to be commerorated with minor if any prohibitions on the yahrtzeit. This is perplexing in comparison to the sequence during the Three Weeks where the intensity in contrast increases with time and then suddenly disappears at noon on the Tenth when everyone can jump into the pool !? Although historically the conditions worsened between the breaching of the walls of Jerusalem on the 17 Tammuz and the destruction that began on the 9 Av, the burning persisted through the Tenth of Av. Nonetheless by noon on the Ninth, people are beginning to arise from their seats of mourning ?! And what of the desolation that was then total on the 11th? and beyond? Moreover, only a person during anenus cannot eat wine and meat yet while for mourning for the Temple the restriction is the nine days? Why does the case for mourning for the Temple differ sequentially and both qualitatively and quantitatively in such a manner from that for a person?
Various explanations have been presented for these incongruous observances. The extended time for abstaining from eating meat and inbibing wine has been explained as a Zecher (memory) for the Mikdash (Temple) in that meat and wine were respectively the korbanos and nesachim (liquid offerings) in the Temple: it was not instituted directly for aveilus. The anguish caused by the loss of a relative is immediate while that for the Temple has been termed an aveilus yeshana, an old mourning. The perception of loss needs to be reinculcated each year, updated to be current, so it takes time until distress is felt. The Temple had already lost its kedusha due to the transgressions of the Jews so that the burning building was just a physical structure being reduced to ashes that had lost its inherent holiness: mourning is not relevant at all after the Shechinah has departed. That is the reason why in the Second Temple that Titus was able to stroll into the Holy of Holies and do abominable acts and walk out without any immediate retribution unlike the many Kohanim Gedolim who died on Yom Kippur in the Holy of Holies and needed to be pulled out by a rope because they were unsuitable for the position having bribed their way in.
Tradition says that Moshiach is born on Tisha B'Av; therefore, Tachanun prayers are not said as it is already a Holiday as it is referred to in literature as conditions are already improving on the very day of the destruction. There are esoteric prayers done at midnight mourning the destruction of the Temple and the loss of the Shechinah called "Tikkun Chatzos". One would think there would be extra additions on Tisha B'av due to the greatest relevance to their content but instead the condensed version done on Shabbas and Yom Tov are said because it is a holiday.
Indeed, some of the additional restrictions on Tisha B'Av (no leather shoes, no marital relations, no anointing, no bathing in addition to no eating/drinking) are only in common with the holiest day of the year Yom Kippur. Parallels have been drawn between them concluding that they thus share the status for possessing the greatest revelations of G-dliness. The face-to-face relationship of the Jewish people to HaShem that has been described on Yom Kippur also exists on Tisha B'av: the Keruvim in the Temple were said to be facing each other during the destruction as opposed to being back-to-back when Divine disapproval towards the Jews was revealed.
Every Jew is an avel on Tisha B'Av: every Jew has a part inside of him that is the Temple for commentaries say that each Jew is a dwelling place for the Shechinah. A loss in a person's ability to learn Torah is due to the absence of the Temple: it is why we do not learn Torah on Tisha B'Av as one does in aveilus. Thus it is like a bit of the person died on Tisha B'av as the neshama is not in the guf in the normal manner which is also the case on Yom Kippur for the opposite reason.
The avodah is that the year has its cycles of seasons with its holidays: "והימים האלה נזכרים ונעשים", some even say that Time is a spiral and not a merry-go-round http://www.sichosinenglish.org/books/timeless-patterns/foreword.htm. Nonetheless, C"V that we climb or decend endlessly. However, every Jew also has a piece of Moshiach associated with his soul as well. HaShem did not forget the "Chelek Eloka Mima'al", the holy spark of G-dliness on the Tisha B'avs on which the Temple was destroyed. He does not forget us now. The Second Temple was destroyed due to causeless hatred between Jews. If all Jews loved each other, then all our individual sparks of the Temple and of Moshiach would unite together to create a megastructure that would eradicate all the Amaleks of the world and once again bring down the Shechinah in a revealed manner below and we would all be learning Torah all day long in Jerusalem, Israel and the whole world. This is the Rambam's target state of מלאה הארץ דעה כמים ליס מכסים which has also been described as יום שכולו טוב.
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