All men live in falsehood. R. Yisroel Salanter in the beginning of Ohr Yisroel taught us that it is impossible for a person to see himself as he really is, for he is blinded by self-importance and self-love. Instead, we can only hope to gain a modicum of self - knowledge from observing others and recognizing in them our own shortcomings and faults. It is difficult, truly difficult to break finally and decisively through the straightjacket of denial and self-delusion. We glimpse, we deny, we forget. Yonah, as he was coming out of the belly of the fish, first recognized this. He knew that salvation comes from Hashem but he couldn't ask Him for it directly, for he also knew that he was still in denial. Therefore, he ended his prayer in the third person (Ch. 3): "Salvation is from the Lord."
Self-awareness is almost a gift that is set to those who mightily strive to know themselves, in truth, in sincerity. To not deny is hard for human beings. So often we encounter people who even while somewhat aware of their faults and deficiencies and appear determined not to be entrapped by them and yet they are, over and over again. Slipping and rising, realizing and forgetting the insights so laboriously gained, life is, as R. Nachman of Breslov teaches, not a circle but a spiral. One rises and falls and rises again and, lo and behold, finds oneself at the same point - but if he is fortunate, on a higher plane. Each person has his or her own ‘tests of destiny’ and they do not change as one progresses spiritually for they are integral to an indivdual's soul. The challenge of small person may be his appetite; when he becomes a great saint he may instead lust after knowledge and wisdom. A kind of desire that may appear to a little person to be great righteousness, may be considered self-indulgence and a shortcoming for a saint. Our fate is to face same challenges repeatedly; our goal is to elevate the level of life's challenges as high as our strength allows
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