Yehuda ben (son of) Tabbai and Shimon ben Shatach received the transmission from them. Yehuda ben Tabbai said: Do not act as an adviser among the judges. When the litigants are standing before you they should be in your eyes as guilty. When they are dismissed from before you they should be in your eyes as meritorious, provided they have accepted the decision." The advice that we read here is strange. Why should a judge consider both litigants guilty when it is clear that in any court case there is one party that is right and the other that is not. One may explain that the mishna is offering a hyperbole the intent of which is that the judge should behave as if both sides are guilty so as to avoid favoritism. In that case, however, once the verdict is handed down, why do both litigants appear to be meritorious? The case is completed, one party is pronounced guilty and the other wins, so how and why should the judge view both as being full of merit? The answer may lie in the fact that when two Jews cannot peacefully resolve a disagreement between them, they both share a blame. I don't mean that they are both guilty of not seeking peace, for sometimes it may be that one side sought a compromise and the other rejected it. Rather, every conflict in the outside world reveals that the inner self is rent asunder. Granted, often there is an agressor in a conflict and many times one side is objectively right and the other is not. Still, in some sense, both parties to a conflict are guilty, if not in this litigation, then of being incomplete, of being torn by an inner conflict, of which this lawsuit is only a surface manifestation. When Justice is accomplished, the conflict is cured, or it was not true Justice. At that moment, the two guilty parties BOTH become meritorious, for as their apparent dispute is resolved, so is their inner conflict healed. "The world is full of strife. There are wars between the nations of the world and conflicts in every city. There are feuds in every household, discord between neighbors, friction within the family, between man and wife, parents and children...
Every day man dies – for the day that has passed will never return. Death comes closer every day, yet nobody remembers the purpose of life.
Friction in the home directly parallels the wars between nations. Each member of the household is the counterpart of one of the nations: their quarrels correspond to the wars between the nations. Even the traits of the different nations can be discerned in the individual members of the household. Each nation has its own particular trait, such as anger, blood-thirstiness and so on. The counterparts of these traits are found in the different members of each household.
You may have no desire for strife: you may only want to live quietly and peaceably with everyone. Even so, you may find yourself forced into conflicts and disputes.
The same happens between nations. One nation may want peace and is willing to make many concessions in order to achieve it. Yet it finds itself dragged into other nations' disputes, with each of the opposing sides demanding its allegiance until it is drawn into war against its will.
The same is true in household wars. Man is a miniature world containing the entire world and everything in it. A man and his family contain the nations of the world and all their wars and strife.
For this reason someone living alone in a forest can go out of his mind. This is because all the warring nations are contained within him. Each one attacks the other, and his personality keeps changing depending on which of the nations within him prevails. Swinging from one extreme to another can drive him insane. But when a person lives with others, these battles are played out among the different members of the household, or between neighbors and friends and so on.
However, when Mashiach comes, all wars and conflicts will come to an end and great peace will come into the world, for “They will neither hurt nor destroy…” (Isaiah 11:9) . "
Sichot Haran #77
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