Many, many years ago I sat on a board with a Talmud professor. The story of what happened on that occasion is what I will now share with you.
One fine, well may be not so fine, day I received a phone call inviting me to join in a presentation to a group of professionals in UJA. This organization has mutual interest groups which it brings together for discussions, presentation, and of course fund raising. My function would be not to serve as a rabbi but as a discussant of professional ethics. The other presenters would be a philosophy professor, an ethicist from NYU and the aforementioned professor of Talmud from a well known non-orthodox rabbinic seminary.
I was tempted. "It would be interesting to participate in such a forum and it would advance my career", I thought to myself. I was somewhat troubled by sitting on the same board as a non-Orthodox rabbi, but, I was there, after all as as an authority on professional ethics, not as a rabbi. So I disregarded that still voice of conscience and accepted the invitation. What I had not realized is that by participating as a layman I gave up all credibility in religion.
The session was preceded by refreshments. While I was nibbling on some crackers, a man in a black suite, black yarmulke and a beard, a man who looked just like me, strode over and asked who provided the hashgacha on the repasts. It was the OU. Satisfied he took some and we briefly chatted. He was the Talmud professor.
To tell the truth I was relieved, for what could go wrong from a man who looked and behaved like this.
The professional ethics guy, that is I, spoke his words. The philosophy professor spoke hers. Then the Professor of Talmud got up to speak.
I recall that I was quite troubled by his habit of pulling out xerox copies of gemorah pages and after reading highlighted passages, crumpling them and throwing them into the wastebasket. Yet, this I could tolerate, for there is some ground in halacha for maintaining that printed copies do not possess intrinsic sanctity. What really disturbed me though, and what left me alternately turning pink and pale, was his message. He chose to spoke of all the things that Judaism did not "believe in" but "it should". For example, Judaism does not believe in Romantic love... but it should. This was tied into professional ethics. So also it does not believe in professional ethics, see, but it should.
There may be some out there who do not find it troubling. Kol Hakavod. For a serious former yeshiva bochur that I still was at that time, this was heights of heresy. One of my rabbis once praised me for going out into the world but remaining an yeshiva bochur, but I think the yeshiva bochurim have changed since then.
I was powerless, utterly helpless. Here I was, sitting on a high dais, listening to this heresy and unable to offer any comments at all - for I was there as a layman and not an expert on religion.
Fortunately it was soon over. We answered questions, thanked the participants and went to pick up our cars.
Retribution was swift, merciless and quick to come.
As soon as I paid for parking and tried to drive the car, it refused to start. I called triple-A but they could not enter the typical Manhattan narrow basement garage; neither would the manager extend any assistance until the boss comes in handles things in the morning. I had to wait until he left at midnight and a worker, pushed the car out onto the street for $20 so I could call AAA again. I got home after 4 AM and I knew, I knew, that I had now received a message.
I still respect professors of Talmud in non-Orthodox seminaries. But I now know that one should never park in those Manhattan garages.
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